The Ex Expat

4 October 2012

As promised, here is the cheesecake recipe you’ve all been waiting for, courtesy of the husband. But it’s not just any old recipe, it’s got a back story. A while ago he wrote an illustrated story book, “Explanating” - a “collection of completely plausible but entirely untrue explanations of everyday phenomena”. One of the stories included in the collection is titled “What’s at the end of a rainbow?” If you want to know the answer, you’ll have to check out the book - available free as an e-book or to download as a PDF - but the recipe for “Octoberry Cheesecake”, which comes with the story, the author is going to share with you here on my blog. So, over to him :-)

What you need to have foodwise:

• Strawberries (1 punnet)
• Raspberries (1 punnet)
• Blackberries (1 punnet)
• Blueberries (1 punnet)
• Gluten-free Digestive Biscuits (200g)
• Butter (75g)
• Soft Cheese (400g)
• Icing Sugar (120g)
• Pectin (1 mixed-up, melted sachet worth)
• Vanilla Pod or Vanilla Essence. Either’s good.

What you need to have otherwise:

• Rolling pin
• Plastic bag
• Microwave
• Cheesecake-shaped tin
• Spatula

What you need to do:

1. Butter and Bashed Biscuit Bits Base
(Make this on Octoberry Eve)

• Put the biscuits in the bag, clear the room, put on safety goggles and smash/squish/crush them up into tiny little bits with the rolling pin.

• Put the biscuits in the bag, clear the room, put on safety goggles and smash/squish/crush them up into tiny little bits with the rolling pin
• Empty the bag of biscuit bits into a bowl.
• Pour the butter into the bowl onto the biscuit bits from the bag.
• Mix them together. Use your hands if you feel like it. Be careful, the butter might still be hot.
• Put this into your cheesecake-shaped tin and squish it down as flat as it’ll go then put it in the fridge for at least an hour.

• Wash out the bowl. Actually, you don’t need to wait an hour to wash the bowl.
• Done.

2. Creamy Cheesy Cakey Combo
(Make this on Octoberry Eve as well)

• If you’re using a vanilla pod, carefully scrape out the seeds from inside and put them in your bowl, if you’re using vanilla essence, carefully open the bottle and either drip 3 or 4 drops into the bowl or drop 3 or 4 drips in. It depends on personal preference.
• Add the cheese and most of the icing sugar (about 100g).
• Mix it together with the spatula or, if you’re not frightened by technology, you can use a modern-day automated electrical whisking machine. Continue until everything is mixed or you become bored. Whichever comes second.

• This time you’ll definitely need the spatula. Spread the creamy, cheesy, cakey stuff onto the base (as long as the base has been in the fridge for at least an hour).
• Spend longer than you really need to drawing pictures in the top of the cheesecake before flattening it down again. Eventually, put it in the fridge until tomorrow.
• Wash the bowl again.
• Done.

3. Almost Octoberry Topping
(Do this on Octoberry Morning)

• Chop half of the berries into halves.
• Put the other half of the berries into a bowl along with the rest of the icing sugar and the pectin.

• Make sure you have someone next to you ready to scratch your nose at any point. You’ll need them.
• Stick your hands in the bowl and squish the berries into pulpy little bits. Make sure the sugar is all mixed in.

• Now that your hands are covered in gunk, your nose will begin to itch. This is perfectly normal, just ask the designated nose-scratcher to perform their assigned duties.
• Once everything is mushed and scratched, add the other non-mushed berries to the bowl and mix them around gently (no more mushing).
• Take the now firm cheesecake out of the fridge and pour the mushed berries on top.

• Stick it back in the fridge until the afternoon.
• Done.

4. On Octoberry afternoon

• Make some nice tea.
• Serve up big slices of your Octoberry cheesecake.
• Eat.